(Yes, it's possible—if you have the, uh, tools.)
"Lose 10 Pounds in 10 Days!"
By Terry Dunkle
DietPower Founder and CEO
For a 58-year-old man, I'm in pretty good shape. I run or walk three and a half miles or do strength training
every day. I don't smoke or drink (although I cuss). My blood pressure is 127/82. (I measured it just now with
my home BP monitor.) And thanks to those daily workouts, my resting pulse is down in the low 60s.
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Nevertheless, I'm still more than 30 pounds overweight, and each summer my family requires me to stroll on a
public beach near Kennebunkport, Maine, in a pair of royal-blue swimming trunks. So each spring I should be a
sucker for a certain kind of email that I'm always receiving (and I'll bet you are, too):
- Lose Up to 10 LBS THE FIRST WEEK! FREE!
- Melt Off 5-10 Pounds in the Next 7 Days!
- LOSE 75 LBS IN 1 MONTH? GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS.
I'm not making these up. I have dozens more like them in my Quackery folder. I collect them the way some people collect
postcards or paperweights. During your free trial of DietPower, I'm going to tell you some of the hilarious adventures
we've had in tracking down the senders and testing their products. But right now I'd like to focus on a much simpler question:
Can a person really lose weight that fast?
In other words, if you absolutely have to, can you get down to a size six for your cousin's wedding? Can you pass
that life-insurance exam? Can you shed the five pounds the camera will put back on during your "60 Minutes" interview?
If you notice, most of those e-mails promise weight loss of one or two pounds per day for periods of a week to a month.
Suppose we go easy on them and say we only want to drop ten pounds in ten days. Is this doable?
I'm glad I asked that question.
To lose weight, you need to reduce one or more of the three main ingredients in your body
Let's start by considering the flesh and bone.
You can easily get rid of ten pounds by cutting off an arm. The average arm weighs just about that much, if you take it off at the shoulder.
This is convenient, too, because the arm that you'll want to spare also happens to be the better one for holding the saw.
I'm right-handed, for example, so I would naturally want to remove my left arm, which I don't use much anyway, except for shaking hands with Bob Dole.
So, yes, you can lose ten pounds in ten days—in fact, you can lose ten pounds in a minute if you have a sharp Homelite and a bottle of Wild Turkey.
Some people, however, will prefer to the second method: losing water. (I'm not going to say which is better. I don't want to take sides here.)
The average person sweats, breathes, and pees away about 80 ounces of water a day. This means that eating dry food and shunning all drinks
should remove 80 ÷ 16 = five pounds per day. Easy, huh?
Not easy. Unfortunately, your body desperately wants to replace that water, to keep your blood from getting too salty and short-circuiting
the nerve signals that run your brain and muscles. This can rapidly lead to confusion, seizures, coma....
In other words, eschewing liquids may get you the ten-pound loss in only three days—but you'll probably end up wearing that size 6 in your coffin.
So now we're down to the third method: burning fat. And here it gets really interesting.
Fat in your body is like gasoline in a car. It stores the energy you need for walking, running, refinancing your mortgage, opening childproof bottle caps,
and all the other necessities of life. (Including thinking. Your head uses one-quarter of your total energy expenditure, which may be why Thomas Edison said,
"The chief function of your body is to carry your brain around.")
As a storage medium, fat is wonderfully efficient. A pound of body weight contains 3500 calories—almost as much as a pound of gasoline.
This is good, because otherwise your body would have to convert excess calories into glycogen, a kind of carbohydrate stored along with
water in the liver and muscles. To equal the storage capacity of 50 pounds of fat (the amount in my body right now), this glycogen/water
mixture would have to weigh more than 400 pounds—and I would have to weigh more than 550. (I would also have a gigantic liver.)
Because fat is so efficient, however, you need to expend a lot of energy to get rid of a pound of it. A 200-some pounder like me can operate
on 2800 calories a day—or 3300 if I throw in my daily walk or run. Since a pound of body weight is 3500 calories, this means I can't lose
a pound a day unless I eat nothing and increase my workout to five miles. If you can do this for ten days straight, you're a better (and thinner)
person than I am.
If you weigh 400 pounds, however, your energy needs are proportionately higher. You could easily lose a pound a day by eating what I eat instead of
what you eat. But you'd feel just as famished as I do when I eat nothing. That's because your body has an amazingly sophisticated system designed to
"correct" a sudden weight loss by making you feel ravenously hungry. The only way to fool this system is by losing weight slowly.
Wait a minute, you say. Can't I take a pill or eat something to rev up my metabolism so I burn calories faster?
In fact, this is what most of the products in those emails promise. But the truth is, even a dangerous level of amphetamines
(probably the most powerful metabolic booster available) will increase your burn rate by only about 20 percent.
You can do better than that by taking a long walk every day.
The only real solution, then, is cutting off your arm. And so far, none of these emails has offered to sell me a chainsaw.
More on this subject later. Right now it's time for me to practice the fourth method of quick weight loss, which I forgot to mention.
It works instantly, it's perfectly safe, it's relatively effective, and it costs absolutely nothing. It's called Sucking in Your Gut.
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$100 Quiz: The Dark Side of Sugar
Answer the question below within 24 hours and your name will go into the DietPower Daily Sweepstakes. (Read the official rules.) One $100 winner is announced
each quarter in our Piping Hot newsletter. (Click here to subscribe.) Remember: you must answer within 24 hours. (The correct answer will appear in tomorrow's DietPower Daily.) Here is today's question:
Which of the following are proven consequences of eating too much sugar? |
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A. Hyperactivity
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B. Tay-Sachs disease
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C. Diabetes
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D. Tooth Decay
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Hint: You'll find the answer in DietPower's help system.
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